(Note: This isn’t original, but it’s good to know!)
- Your haircut takes 20-30 minutes, your dog’s takes much longer.
- Your hairdresser doesn’t give you a manicure & pedicure.
- Your Hairdresser only clips the hair on your head.
- You don’t have fleas, ticks, or mites.
- Your Hairdresser is not expected to comb out dreadlocks.
- Your hairdresser doesn’t clean your ears.
- You don’t try to bite your hairdresser.
- You stay still and don’t wiggle, jump and shake while being worked on with sharp scissors & tools.
- Your hairdresser doesn’t wash your butt.
- You don’t come in with mud, burrs, sticks, tar, sap, gum, foxtails, and poop in your hair.
- You don’t shake and cover everything (including your hairdresser) in 2 inches of soapy water.
- Your Hairdresser doesn’t have to shave between your toes.
- You can tell your hairdresser if something’s wrong, she doesn’t have to guess.
- You don’t poop whilst your hairdresser is blow drying your backside.
- Your hairdresser doesn’t cuddle you and stroke you when you get nervous.
- You don’t walk into your hairdresser with hair that hasn’t been brushed in 6 weeks (or 6 months).
- You don’t scream at the top of your lungs every time the Hairdresser picks up a pair of nail clippers.
- You don’t whip around in a frenzy as soon as your hairdresser goes to clip around your ears.
- You don’t try to hump your hairdresser’s leg.
- You don’t play chicken with a skunk right before your appointment.
- You don’t pee, poop, or throw up in the hairdresser’s chair.
- You don’t wait until you’re clean and dry to go potty and sit in it.
- You don’t dig your fingernails into your hairdresser’s arm.
- You don’t roll in dead things.
- Your hairdresser probably won’t love you if you do any of the above. (in fact they would probably have you arrested).